please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
