eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i now understand why vodka
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
