Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
