2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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