We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
