I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
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I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
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Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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