none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
