hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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