Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
