she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
