there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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