he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
