we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
