Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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