the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
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The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize