new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
