you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
