i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
