Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
