Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
