I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
