Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
