so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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