his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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