No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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