you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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