Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize