Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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