Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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