I feel like I'm in dance class right now
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
