My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
