I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
