The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize