If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize