Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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