Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you had me at cake vodka
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
