He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
handjob tips. give me some.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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