What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize