Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
