What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
