Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
