I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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