My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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