# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
