she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
