I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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