when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
