i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
