no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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