considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
