Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
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Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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