I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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