My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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