I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
