Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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