Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
