Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
