Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
