Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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