Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
