Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
