i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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