why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
