Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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