I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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