Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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